Purify Character

In Part 1 of this three-part blog series, I discussed sanctification through desire.  We want to improve something about ourselves, to be a better person, a better listener, friend, parent, spouse, etc.  I encouraged us to ask God, through the power of His Holy Spirit, to help us in the hard work of positive change that we desire for ourselves.  Through our effort combined with the power and sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, we can be freed from bad habits, from sin, in our lives.  Here in Part 2, I want to discuss another form of sanctification, that which comes through the sins of others.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of someone else’s verbal outburst, blame-shifting, gossip, or just plain rude behavior, you can relate to what I’m talking about, especially if the treatment you received was through no fault of your own. Often, simply because someone else is having a bad day, we get treated in an unjust manner.  Other times, we are treated unfairly through another person’s desire for power or control, or simply another person’s bias or prejudice.  Or maybe one of our friends or loved ones behaves in an inconsiderate, unreliable, or selfish manner, without regard for the inconvenience or hurt their selfishness exposes us to. The examples are many and we’ve all experienced them.

If you’ve read any of my other posts, you’ll know that staying quiet amidst unjust treatment is something I’ve really had to work on. My first desired reaction is to put the offender in their rightful place. And, even when I’ve managed to resist delivering a retaliating response for a short time, I have all too often caved after repeated blows I’ve felt were undeserved.  And my responses have not always been pretty. But this is not what scripture calls for. Instead, we are called to respond with grace and love, even when others are treating us unjustly. This is something that has been difficult for me to imitate, and my learning curve has been steep.

But here is what I’ve learned through many mistakes of not responding with love and grace. I have learned that the more I respond in anger, the less peace I have.  I have learned that the more I fight back, the less joy I feel.  I have seen that the more I put someone in their place who I think deserves it, the less I grow in maturity myself.  In the end, the more I respond like ‘the world’, the less practice I get in becoming more like Jesus and the less I glorify the God I profess to follow. I am not becoming the person I want to be, the person God created me to be, and I am not setting a positive example for anyone. I am contributing to a world gone wrong.

This realization has led me to focus on the bigger picture of who “I” want to be regardless of who anyone else is.  It has led me to grit my teeth amidst poor treatment when someone else is abusing their power.  It has led me to pray for love to replace anger when someone offends me. It has led me to choose my words more carefully when I do respond. It has led me to trust in God’s justice on God’s schedule.  He sees and judges all.  Through Jesus’ example, when He was unjustly persecuted, shamed and put to death, it has led me to swallow my pride for the sake of imitating the God who suffered and died for me. Through my knowledge of God’s love and grace, and in His power, it has led me to pray for those who hurt me.

Has this been easy? I wish I could say it has been, but I would be lying.  What I can say is, the more I have painfully taken these ‘higher road’ steps, the easier they have become to take. The more I have resisted the temptation my pride brings, the more peace I have experienced. Through each opportunity to practice my response to perceived unfair treatment, one by one, I have been and continue to be sanctified. God has taken something bad and used it for something good, my good, my growth, my maturity.  He has used the sins of others to chisel at and purify ‘my’ character. And, although I still don’t ace the test every time, I keep running the race set before me. I know that God will use my desire for obedience through times of fire to refine me like gold in a furnace. And I am thankful for His wisdom.

In summary, God has taught me that it is my response, to whatever I am going through, that matters.  Responding with love when I feel unloved or unappreciated is exactly what Jesus modeled and He is the only One I want to imitate. Gossip, retaliation, and anger do not reap good outcomes.  I no longer feel the need for immediate justice because I have learned to trust in God, the only true and unbiased Judge.  In the meantime, I will work toward full maturity in my own weakness, knowing that God will finish the work He has begun in me.