Love

Recently, while reading over my ‘middle of the night’ messages, I was reminded there are more on ‘love’ than any other topic.  Hmm.  One could easily conclude I’m a cold person if I needed that many reminders to be more loving.  And that’s a fair conclusion.  I’ve already stated in a prior post that I felt the messages were for me.  But here’s the thing – in the Bible, love is the greatest commandment, first to love God and then to love our neighbors as ourselves.  If we are honest (and I hope we can be), we all have certain personalities that we struggle to love.  And I am no different.   

As far back as I can remember, I have struggled with arrogant personalities.  I’m not talking about someone who is occasionally arrogant.  That would be all of us (and I’m not condoning it).  I am talking about someone who is consistently arrogant, someone who thinks themselves better than most, someone who consistently brags or feels the need to show how great they are.  I also struggle greatly with self-centered personalities.  Not those who are occasionally self-centered.  Again, that would be all of us.  I am talking about those who are blatantly selfish and inconsiderate of others on a consistent basis.  Escaping the presence of arrogant and selfish personalities is usually something I want to accomplish as quickly as possible.  To me, these personalities are unlovely.  And I don’t say this easily.  My pride wants to tell you that I am a super loving person all the time, that I’ve learned this lesson well, and those multiple ‘love’ messages are part of my past.  But it would be a lie.  And I suspect I am not alone. 

What types of personalities do you find unlovely?  I’m talking about personalities that may or may not be sinful.  In some case, they are just ‘different’. I’m not asking you to write a personal blog about it; just to admit it to yourself so you can get the most out of this personal blog.  Sound fair?  Ok, I’ll give you a minute to reflect…

Truth is, whether we admit it or not, we all have personalities that rub us the wrong way or cause our blood pressure to rise.  And here’s another truth – you may be an unlovely personality to someone.  The day God opened my eyes to see this was the day I was truly humbled.  I am someone’s unlovely or difficult person.

Across the face of this earth are many different personalities, cultures, and belief systems spanning many different experiences.  We are all different and it is quite common for us humans to congregate toward those who are most like us and to move away from those who are different.  We don’t like different.  We don’t understand different.  And herein lies the problem.

God is love.  He is not partly love or sometimes love.  God is 100% love 100% of the time.  When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He didn’t die for some personalities; He died out of pure love for all personalities, all cultures, and all skin colors.  The love of Christ is inclusive, not selective.  If we want to be more like Jesus, then we need to work on loving all personalities, all people, all the time.  And for us humans, this is not easy. 

I don’t need to go into detail about what is happening in our society today.  We all see the racial and political tensions.  And for African Americans, this is more than a today problem.  This is both a historical and present-day problem.  As Janetta Oni in a Summit Church interview said, “This is a ‘lived experience’ problem.”  And all African Americans know that it will be a future problem without real and dramatic change.  And that change needs to start with our mindset.  We need to stop and realize that different doesn’t mean ‘less than equal’ or unlovely. 

We all judge our neighbors in some form or fashion, and we all need to repent of our human bias.  We need to address sin head-on starting with our own.  For me, and for all of us, repentance must come first.  I need to recognize that I am not loving like Jesus.  Without that recognition, nothing else can happen.  Following repentance, I need to make the effort to understand those who rub me the wrong way.  Perhaps if I understood their background and history, I would see them differently.  I might even understand the reason for their arrogance or selfishness.  Perhaps if I came to know them, we might become friends.  This takes both time and intentionality and I need to be willing to invest the effort.  Otherwise, I remain separated from those who rub me the wrong way… and separation is not of God.      

Likewise, for racial issues.  For us to correct our sin of judgment, bias, hate, complacency, or indifference (yes, this too is sin), we need to be intentional about addressing it.  First, are we even aware of the problem?  By now, I hope most of us are.  Second, does our awareness come with a genuine understanding of the problem?  If not, we need to seek education on this topic.  I believe with a true understanding of this issue, we will be spurred to act.  This action may be speaking up against a racial joke, defending our multi-cultural friends and neighbors against racial attacks, or participating in awareness and education campaigns.  Some of us may even have the influence to propel political and legal change that will help shape a diverse, unified, and equal future.  At the very least, we need to teach our children about the equality of all human life… that racial bias will not be tolerated.  

I want to reiterate the reason for these very real, historical and current day issues and that reason is recurring and perpetual sin – loving self more than others… ignoring the issue of bias in our own hearts, sweeping racial tensions under the carpet, looking the other way, etc.  If you believe you are an innocent bystander in our world’s sin issue, I ask you to reconsider your position.  Who do you see as unlovely?  Who do you disregard?  What glaring sin have you been indifferent to?  Consider this: even though you may be unlovely to someone, you are not unlovely to God.  And those you see as unlovely are also not unlovely to God.  He loves us despite our imperfections, and He is asking us to love others despite theirs.  God also loves our differences and He sees them as beautiful!  Understanding the depth of God’s love and forgiveness in our own lives should spur us on to be more patient and loving with the personality and physical differences of others.  Intentionally working to instill love and understanding in our hearts will be the very catalyst to change.  Love is powerful.  To choose not to love is to give evil a foothold.  And make no mistake, friend, we have given evil a foothold.  With each choice not to love, sin is perpetuated.  If God is love (and He is), then love is stronger than evil.  With a genuine desire on our part, God can change our hearts and love can be increased in a world that so desperately needs it. 

I am praying for genuine love in my own heart for all people and I am praying for love in your heart as well.  Let us seek repentance and unification together!