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Still Growing

Still Growing

A Shrewd Investment

by Tracy Brackett

2/10/12 2:24 a.m.

Invest in Me and I will invest in you. Our time together is special to Me. Do not take lightly the growth you receive from this time. I love to grow you. I love to prepare you for the work ahead. Rely on Me for this growth. You cannot attain it on your own, as many often believe they can. Dedicate yourself to Me and to My will for you and you will be living the way you were meant to live. Focus on our relationship and I will give you My strength and wisdom, to be used to your advantage on this place called earth. See to it that you invest in our relationship. I will meet you.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing… “ (John 15:5 NIV)

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Looking BackStill Growing

Real Joy Takes Courage

by Tracy Brackett

4/5/14 1:46 a.m. 

Real joy takes courage. Courage to be honest and faithful. To act in integrity. Courage to say “I’m sorry”. Courage to do the right thing. Courage to admit when you’re wrong. Courage to grow through mistakes. Courage to speak the truth in love. Courage to persevere and not quit. Real joy takes all these things. It is the fruit of these things and My gift to you. Seek joy and live life abundantly.

Would you like to walk in darkness or in light?  If you answered light, you are on to something… but did you know that it takes courage to walk in the light?

I remember a time when saying “I’m sorry” was not part of my vocabulary.  Apologizing was (and still is) uncomfortable.  It means admitting I am wrong, and my pride makes it difficult for me to admit such a thing.  Believing I am right and in control are far more comfortable for me.

I also recall times when I did the wrong thing simply because it was more convenient than doing the right thing.  Not returning the cart to the grocery store, or designated stations, or leaving fallen trash on the street simply because I didn’t feel like chasing it in the wind.

Sadly, I have allowed myself to tell lies to get off the hook of admitting an embarrassing truth (like the fake tan example I described in my “Beyond the Surface” post).  “It’s just a white lie”, I would think. “It’s not going to hurt anyone.  It’s barely even lying.”  What I didn’t realize is we cannot put a scale on integrity.  Like a drop of mud in clear water, you either have purity (truth, integrity), or you don’t.  All lies are dark.

Looking back on my less joy-filled days, I think of Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was a cheerful, outgoing, and spontaneous person.  She laughed a lot and loved to be around people.  In fact, if anyone made you feel like you were accepted (and funny), it was Elizabeth.  Easy to talk to and carefree, she made friends easily.  And I was one of them.  I loved Elizabeth and her sweet personality.

Over time, however, I became skeptical of my friend.  Elizabeth was like a gypsy, floating in the wind.  Perpetually late, I and other friends often had to wait for her.  She also lacked other responsibility.  Her apartment was in shambles and she was almost always late for work… if she was working.  As long as Elizabeth was around people and having fun, she was happy.  But Elizabeth hated to be alone and feared missing out on anything that was happening.  When she had nothing else to do, she would call to chit chat… and chit chat… and chit chat.

Although I am an extrovert, I began to feel burdened by Elizabeth’s continuous need for socializing.  I also became bothered by her constant lateness.  I was astonished at how anyone could get through life with her lack of responsibility.  Instead of having a loving conversation with Elizabeth about the way I was feeling, I distanced myself and, not long after, Elizabeth moved outside the city.  A few months after moving, Elizabeth sent me a friendly e-mail, simply to say hello and catch-up.  Since I was leery of re-igniting the friendship, I responded in a judgmental manner by offering unsolicited advice.  I never heard from Elizabeth again.

Sometime later, as I grew in my faith and closeness to God, I remembered Elizabeth, and I was greatly convicted.  I realized, without being fully conscious of it, I considered myself better than her.  Buttoned up and organized, I worked hard at my job, was dedicated to ‘church’ activities, and maintained an orderly home.  But now, I could more clearly see that I lacked the fervor and love Elizabeth had for people, a far better quality than organization.  More specifically, I lacked love for and understanding of Elizabeth, the kind of love God calls me to as a Christian.  And because of this, I lacked real joy.

Realizing I had been guilty of wrongly judging Elizabeth, I resolved to make amends.  I knew I needed to apologize.  But as soon as I thought of doing this, I tightened up inside.  I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.  I felt every part of my human side tell me, after all this time, it’s just not necessary.  Maybe I could simply confess to God… but my spiritual Jesus following side told me otherwise.

Knowing that my faith and walk with God were far more important than my pride, I forced myself to send Elizabeth an e-mail.  In it, I directly admitted my guilt of judging her.  I explained how I had been growing and was sorry for my behavior.  I asked for her forgiveness.  I told her she had no obligation to respond, I only wanted her to know I was sorry.  Elizabeth never responded.

For months following that apology, I knew sending Elizabeth an e-mail was the wrong way to apologize.  It lacked respect and courage.  Yet, I could not bring myself to call her.  And perhaps that’s why Elizabeth never responded.  If I didn’t have the courage to apologize to her directly, why did I bother to apologize at all?  Friends, I have the same question.  Why did I choose the easier way out?

Because it was easier.

Not only that, but we humans have a way of blocking our memory of things that are unpleasant to think about, especially if it protects our conscience.  I have done such a thing.  For the past six weeks, I have been struggling to write this blog post.  But a few days ago, my memory was unblocked… I remembered Elizabeth.  I remembered I hadn’t been completely obedient to my conscience.  I hadn’t been completely obedient to God.  And, once again, I knew what I needed to do.

Just before hitting the call button on my phone, my anxiety spiked.  Making that call to Elizabeth was difficult, because my “I want life to be easy and comfortable” human side just didn’t want to do it.  But I pressed on knowing obedience to God and doing the right thing were far more important than comfort.  After saying a brief prayer, I tapped the call button.  To my surprise, the call itself was relatively easy.  Elizabeth was kind but, also, unsure why I was apologizing.  What?

While I was relieved at Elizabeth’s response, I also realized her response was not the most relevant point of my story.  The point is, whether Elizabeth remembered it or not, I was indeed judgmental and ungodly in my behavior.  I was convicted in my conscience and an apology was necessary to remain at peace with myself and in right relationship with God.  When we sin against others, we sin against God.  We distance ourselves from His goodness.  Regardless of what anyone else believed or understood, God knew I had sinned.

Reflecting on my past and present behavior is often humbling and healing at the same time.  While it reminds me of mistakes I’ve made, and sometimes continue making, it also reveals how far I have come and where I still need to grow.  Without this reflection, I would remain dead in my sins, lacking true growth and healing.  I would be walking in the dark, hiding my flaws from others, pretending to have it all together. I would be a fool, ignoring the convictions of my conscience… the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  Doing what makes ‘me’ most comfortable and happy.   

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15 ESV)

God is light.  There is no darkness in Him.  When we separate ourselves from God, we separate ourselves from the light.  When we lie, refuse to apologize, or fail to do the right thing for the sake of comfort or convenience, we walk in the dark.

I have a dear friend who realized she had been taking a loved one for granted.  She was convicted of responding in ways that lacked patience and understanding.  When she confessed this realization to a small group of us, she wept with remorse and embarrassment.  She recognized she could be hurting and distancing herself from her loved one and was sorry for her behavior.

I felt closer to my friend that day.  Her humility and desire to grow, rather than dismiss what had been revealed were an encouragement.  Although she was embarrassed, I saw real beauty in her confession.  And I have no doubt her peace increased noticeably on the other side of it.  Her and her loved one also grew closer.  My sweet friend chose not to ignore her conviction, a path far too many of us pursue, and she reaped the reward of honesty with herself and others.  True peace and joy.  It took courage to walk in the light.

We too often are deceived into believing that hiding our shortcomings (and we all have them) is the way to make it in this world.  A prime example is in the workplace where blame-shifting is common.  But we still feel shame and restlessness when we attempt to conceal our wrongs, even when we’re not immediately conscious of it.  Real joy comes with confession and forgiveness, honesty, and humility.  Quite opposite the way of the world, and the prince of the world (Satan), would have us believe.

Take Adam and Eve, for example.  God created the world and everything in it and He declared that it was good.  Good meaning perfect and complete.  God gave humans the breath of life and dominion over the earth, to benefit from and care for it.  Adam and Eve were placed in the perfect and protective garden of Eden where sat the ‘Tree of Life’.  In this perfect paradise of protection and provision, Adam and Eve had only one restriction.  They could eat from all but one tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  God warns “for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”1

Enter the devil in the form of a serpent to create doubt and deception.  The devil begins with the phrase “Did God really say…?” and ends with “You will not certainly die. For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  Satan adds just enough truth to his lie to create doubt, and Eve questions whether the tree will really harm her.  Both her and Adam eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Immediately after eating of the forbidden tree, Adam and Eve realize they are naked.  To cover their shame, they make clothing for themselves out of fig leaves. This is followed by avoidance of God by hiding.  When that doesn’t work (for God sees all), Adam lies to God and both Adam and Eve cast blame on others for their disobedience.  Paradise is lost.  Adam and Eve are banished from the perfect and protective garden of Eden and the tree of life provided by God that would sustain them.

What God meant for good, lies, blame, and shame polluted with evil.  Paradise freely given, quickly lost.  And today, we are no different.  We are deceived into thinking God wants to keep us from the good things in life, from the things that bring us joy.  It’s a lie that Satan keeps telling and we keep believing.

Those ‘self-seeking’ desires we carry, however small, do not come from the God who loves, but the deceiver who destroys.  Acted upon, they separate us from God and, in time, lead to restlessness and loss of peace.  The prince of darkness attempts to disguise our sinful desires as good and worthy of pursuit, but his goal is to deceive and ruin.  Friend be warned: Even the most intelligent are misled.

We live in an “everyone does what is right in their own eyes” kind of world.  One lacking unity, equity, and moral restraint.  One where we see, we want, we take2… where temptation is not something to be restrained but followed.  One where God is left out of the conversation.  And herein lies the problem.  What everyone thinks is right in their own eyes has no moral compass, nothing to bounce it off to see if it is, indeed, good and right.  We live in a world that repeats the sin committed in the garden of Eden, denying the sovereignty and goodness of God’s will for our own will and desires.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15 ESV)

There is no love in selfishness, neither is there joy in living a sin concealing life.  We should not be deceived that when we choose to gloss over the truth, refuse to apologize, willingly avoid what is right for convenience, live unfaithfully, utter false promises, blame-shift, quit when the going gets tough, avoid speaking the truth in love… that we are free of guilt and shame.  Instead, we are robbing ourselves of real joy.  And if we truly realized the significance of this loss, I believe we would choose differently.

Friend, the world is a dark place.  And that is why our Creator tells us we are to live ‘in’ the world but not ‘of’ the world.  To walk with God is to see the world through different eyes and to respond to the world with different behaviors.  And, make no mistake, if we choose to walk in the light of truth, we will stand out as different.  And there is a good chance, we will be ridiculed and rejected for this difference.

It’s much easier for those walking in darkness to reject us than join us.  If we are labeled odd or wrong, then those in the darkness will have comfort in their own behavior because our ridicule will help to quench their guilt.  This is, indeed, the very thing that happened to Jesus. 

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you… “(John 15:18-19 NIV)

The enemy is crafty.  He knows the flesh is weak and, therefore, how to deceive us in our pursuit of happiness.  Indeed, the flesh is weak and giving in to the ways of the world is far too easy.  For this, we need a power that transcends our own.  And this is where the grace and power of God comes in.  We need the power of prayer to mature us to see the truth, and to embolden us in courage.  We need the Creator of joy to lead us back to it.  The joy of living God’s design, the joy of peace, the joy of knowing and obeying our Creator.

Remember, the prince of lies will do whatever it takes to encourage us to join him in darkness.  He’ll make us believe we’ll be more accepted.  He’ll teach us that we can avoid exclusion and ridicule simply by doing what everyone else is doing.  And this part of the lie is often true.  It is likely that we will be more accepted, but this acceptance will be our only reward.  You see, the desire to fit in with the world is based on a temporary perspective… the immediate gratification we all too often seek, foregoing the long-term benefits of discipline and obedience.  This is where the lie comes in.

The way of the world, the way of darkness, is not of God.  And, if you are not for God, then you are against Him.  And this, my friend is a grave mistake.  The loss of God is the loss of everything that is eternally good.  Indeed, the choice is ours to make, and it can feel difficult, even painful, but we cannot have both.  We can choose God and light, or we can choose the world and darkness.  If I can make one plea, it’s this: The long-term, eternal, implications of choosing the world, the loss of truth, light, joy, and life are simply not worth it… “for when you eat from it you will certainly die.“   

“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters...”  (Matthew 12:30 NIV)

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

Something to Consider:

 

Although Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden lead to death (removal from the garden and lost access to the tree of life), and we followed suit with our own sinful behaviors, God made a way to save us from ourselves.  He sent His Son, His only Son, Jesus, to die the death we were supposed to die so that we could have life with God for eternity.  Jesus is the better Adam3.  He lived a perfect and righteous life, completely obedient to the commands of God and God’s design for living.


Jesus lived the life we were supposed to live.  He didn’t deserve death but, in His love, He chose to take it in our place.  Like a parent paying off a child’s debt they cannot pay or taking the punishment for their child’s wrong to save the child from suffering the penalty themselves, Jesus (God) made a way, in His great love and mercy, to save us.


But there’s more.  Jesus not only took our death upon Himself, but He conquered death through His great power, a power only He, as both God and man, possesses.  Jesus rose from the dead to life, and death was defeated for good.  We only need believe and accept Jesus’ gift of life to us (all of us) who could not have achieved it for ourselves.  Jesus is the Tree of Life.


And since what Jesus offers is a ‘gift’, it is not something we earn, but something that is freely given.  I repeat, nothing we can do will earn it.  We can never be good enough, righteous enough, pure enough.  Why?  Because this kind of good requires perfection, and we do not have the capacity as broken humans to be perfect.  We have already taken the bait and have been enticed by the deceiver.


Let us reflect on the significance of this gift.  We receive something, eternal life, that we cannot earn and do not deserve.  This is love, this is grace.  I am praying day by day, one day at a time, we will choose to be courageous.  That we will differ from the way of the world and choose life in Christ… eternal life, abundance, and real joy, the kind that matters for today and for eternity.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life…” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20a NIV)

References:

1 Genesis 2:17 NIV

2 Jen Wilkin: ‘God of Creation’ Bible Study

3 Jen Wilkin: ‘Better’ Bible Study

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Looking BackStill Growing

Four Essential Keys to Success: #3 Obedience

by Tracy Brackett

11/8/11 12:03 a.m.

Obedience. Joy. Peace. They are connected. You can have all three. I set them before you. Choose obedience and by so doing you also choose joy and peace. May joy and peace be yours, the joy and peace only I can give. Not that of the world but that of the Divine. Choose obedience over sacrifice. Obedience is key.

 

11/14/11 3:24 a.m.

Obedience. This is what I ask for. Consistent obedience yields peace and joy. You will see, and you will be glad. Obey always and these gifts will be yours.

 

8/30/14 4:00 a.m.

Obedience is key and is more valuable than sacrifice. Obey My commands My child and feel freedom. My commands are not burdensome. My commands are for your safety and protection. They are laced with love for your well-being. Follow My commands and success will be yours today.

Obedience.  Parents expect it of their children, teachers of their students, and the legal system of citizens.  Disobedience offends the lawmaker and, when it is rampant, chaos often ensues.  Those who are obedient often receive accolades while those caught disobeying are punished.  Punishment is rightfully painful.  It is a means of encouraging obedience.

Laws serve to create order, teachers want us to grow and learn, and parents seek our success and protection.  God wants these things too.  It’s not that difficult to understand.  Yet, many of us still disobey. 

In my ‘About This Blog’ page, I shared my ‘delay’ in obedience in starting this blog.  In my confession, I described how fear had led to my disobedience.  In fearing man more than God, I disobeyed the only One I should fear.  You see, when we repeatedly disobey God’s commands or what we believe He is calling us to do, we risk receiving His discipline.

Sometimes God’s discipline is obvious.  Other times it is not.  In His quest to set us back on a straight path, God’s discipline may be something painful that he causes us to endure, or He may withhold something that we deeply desire.  In the Old Testament, we see God’s discipline for blatant and recurring disobedience when He sends the Israelites into the captivity of their enemies.  They are exiled from their own land and scattered where they are oppressed by other nations.  This discipline causes the Israelites to consider their ‘ways’ and turn back to the Lord for rescue and freedom. 

Another sober example of discipline from the Old Testament is when the Israelites disobeyed God in the desert.  God had miraculously rescued them from slavery to Egypt and promised to bless if they were obedient to His laws.  On their way to the land God promised their ancestors, the Israelites complained and rebelled on several occasions, including the worship of other gods.  The Israelites also feared the ‘giants’ who inhabited the land they were promised not believing they (i.e. God) could defeat them.  As a result, God caused the Israelites to wander in the desert for 40 years.  He allowed all (except two who believed) who were rescued from Egypt to die before entering the land they so eagerly anticipated.

God continues to discipline His disobedient children today.  In my ‘Growing Pains’ post, I talked about a sleep disorder that practically debilitated me for close to a year.  I believe that sleep disorder, which I still suffer from today, could be the result of my disobedience.  I didn’t say so in that post because it was part of another story… this story.  And while this correlation may sound silly on the surface, allow me to explain my reasoning. 

In other posts, I told you of my recurring challenges concerning high expectations of people and how I struggle most with those who are selfish and arrogant.  I have had this issue of being ‘judgmental’ for many, many years.  Even typing it causes me embarrassment.  Judgmentalism is not something anyone wants to admit.  But if I am going to be ‘obedient’ in maintaining this blog, I owe it to God and to you to be completely transparent.

I mentioned above that God will discipline repeated disobedience.  I’ve known for a long time that I do not love all people as I should.  I have even prayed for God to change me, but I haven’t always been faithful in fulfilling my part of that change.  I would pray for a while and then forget about it for a longer while.  I would try to be more loving in the beginning, but then allow something else to distract those efforts.  Make no mistake, none of us are able, on our own, to change without the power of God.  But change takes two.  How could I expect God to change me when I was only half invested?  It’s like asking God to send me a paycheck when I’m not willing to work. 

Since I was not consistent in praying for and intentionally working on my character flaw of judgment, I never did get past it.  Yet, God wills for me to change.  He knows I desire to serve Him, but He also knows not loving as I should hinders my effectiveness.  It dishonors His name and dilutes my influence.  For my good and for His glory, God wants me to experience real and lasting change.  And since God has convicted me multiple times concerning this sin, to no avail, I believe He is using discipline to help me take it more seriously.

I have always slept wonderfully… up until I didn’t.  When I started experiencing frequent awakenings at the age of 39, there was no logical explanation.  My doctor did not even consider sending me for a sleep study until almost a year after the onset.  Up until the study, we tried everything without success.  When the sleep study confirmed I had hypopnea, it was quite a surprise.  Generally, hypopnea and its counterpart, sleep apnea, are caused by obesity, enlarged tonsils, excessive overbite, menopause, smoking, and other things I did not have or do.  My doctor was puzzled.

I told you I began using a CPAP machine following my hypopnea diagnosis and began sleeping well again.  This was true for the first few months.  In under a year, my recurring awakenings returned, even while using the CPAP machine.  At this point I began to pray for God to reveal the reason.  A short time later, I went on a personal retreat in the mountains.  I was alone with the Lord for 5 days studying His Word, praying, worshiping, journaling, and listening.  During my time there, I prayed fervently for answers.  I wanted to know if the sleep disorder was the result of sin. 

It’s difficult to appreciate the experience of a Jesus-focused retreat unless you’ve been on one (or something similar).  When you give God your undivided time and attention, He responds in profound and amazing ways.  During this retreat, I felt very strongly that God was, once again, reminding me that I was carelessly judgmental.  And, once again, I found myself weeping over my sinfulness.

At this point, I had been journaling “messages” in the middle of the night for just a few months. Following my confession, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning.  As usual, I picked up my pen and paper prepared to journal.  But the night was empty with silence.  I waited.  Minutes passed and, still, nothing.  I began to pray.  Lord, what is it that you want me to do?  I am awake and listening.  Not a second passed.  I can’t explain it, but I spontaneously knew God wanted me to leave my CPAP mask on the nightstand and lay my head back on the pillow without it.  I quickly fell asleep and didn’t awake again until morning, refreshed and rejuvenated.  I have not used a CPAP machine since that retreat. 

Perhaps God felt the weight of my confession, and this was His way of responding.  I really can’t say for sure.  I just know it was a blessing.  But my confession was only the beginning of my growth journey.  Obedience following confession is critical in our walk with God.  As you know from prior posts, I still fall short in my genuine love for others.  Although I no longer use a CPAP machine, I still wake up more than desired in the wee hours of the morning.  The awakenings are less frequent, and they no longer debilitate me, but it’s rare for me to feel 100% refreshed.  Deep down, I know I am not where God wills me to be.  Perhaps that’s why my sleep is not where I will it to be.  A constant reminder of my disobedience when it comes to others.      

Though it’s only recent, I do now have a genuine and consistent desire to love others sincerely and completely.  I pray for it on a regular basis and monitor myself both during and following frustrating interactions.  Lasting and consistent change takes time, especially when you have carried certain behaviors for years.  But I believe I will attain this change because I am, at last, ‘all in’.  My will is now in line with the Lord’s when it comes to His people, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to grow in this area.  I can already see God softening my heart toward others as I seek to understand from their perspective and, more importantly, from the perspective of Jesus who died for all of us.

Absent God speaking to me audibly, I may never know for sure if my sin of judgment and disobedience dealing with it is the cause of my sleep issues.  Regardless, the fact remains I have a sin problem that needed addressing.  Even if I’m wrong about my sleep, if it ‘woke me up’ to take my disobedience seriously, then it’s all for good and not evil. 

In the book of Hebrews, the author warns Christian believers to pay careful attention to what they have heard and learned about the Supremacy and salvation of Jesus… so that they do not drift away from the truth.  In the “Christ-Centered Exposition” commentary, Mohler makes the important point that there is no such thing as standing still in the Christian life.  There are those who are paddling toward and those who are paddling away from Jesus.  Then there are those who are not paddling at all.  They are drifting due to doing nothing. 

We must row toward Jesus, against the tide of culture, lest we drift away.  In other words, we need to intentionally pay attention to and obey the Word of God.  Hearing the Word of God but not obeying guarantees we will drift away spiritually until we find ourselves far from the Lord.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says… whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.  (James 1:22, 25 NIV)

Judging others is a very real current in our world that I need to paddle against to ensure I am no longer swept up in it.  By doing nothing, I allowed myself to drift from the command of God to love His people.  Whatever way the Father chooses to reveal my disobedience, I thank Him for His discipline.

While God will discipline for continued disobedience, He also loves to reward obedience, both this side of heaven and in eternity.  While I believe our key focus should be on obtaining rewards in heaven, on things that are eternal, I will first share some examples of blessings I have experienced on earth, since God often chooses to give both. 

I remember a time early in my career when I was miserable due to poor treatment by one of my superiors.  This woman, who I will call Becky, was well known for her harsh character.  If she liked you, you were fine but if she didn’t, look out!  Becky had a strong dislike for auditors and, since I had been an auditor immediately before I began supporting her team, she simply did not like me. 

After supporting Becky for almost a year, a higher-level position opened within the company.  I decided to apply for it.  Anything to get away from Becky!  I was interviewed by the executive overseeing the open position and the interview went well.  He encouraged me to sleep on it.  If I were still interested, he would have me meet with the president of the division. 

That evening, I prayed over the potential new role and continued praying the next morning.  Part way through the day, I had an overwhelming feeling that I was not meant to pursue the new position.  I had the sense that I was prematurely ‘running’ from a tough situation that God was not yet ready to release me from.  I desperately wanted to be released, so this was not the answer I was hoping for.  But the feeling was too strong.  I reluctantly told the executive who had interviewed me that I was withdrawing my application. 

Two weeks later, I heard that division of the company was told to cut costs, so Executive Management decided not to fill the open position but, instead, to eliminate it!  I can’t imagine how embarrassed I would have been had I continued pursuing the role and then had to crawl back to the place I was hoping to escape from.  And to top it off, just a few months later, I was approached by management to take on another role within the company, and I gladly accepted.  In my new role, I was shown great respect and favor by both my Supervisor and the more senior management team above me.  God’s blessing was plentiful! 

A few years later, after Joe and I were married, we celebrated paying off our small house.  We loved and felt blessed by this home.  Still, because of our love for hospitality, we had a desire for a larger one.  Our current home could only accommodate a couple of people for dinner due to a small eating area, and the yard was almost nonexistent.  We excitedly began discussing the purchase of a new house that would meet our hospitality aspirations.  But about a month into this discussion, I felt a strong pull to put our savings toward something else.  I shared my thoughts with Joe and, together, we prayed about it. 

After a couple of weeks, we concluded we were not meant to buy the new house.  We needed to be obedient to where we felt the Lord was leading us.  I was disappointed but reminded myself that our current home was plenty for the two of us and God would provide a larger home in His timing.  We agreed to remove the new house from our current thinking.

Six months later, God blessed us abundantly!  During annual merit increases and bonus timing, I received not only an above average raise, but the largest bonus of my career.  At about the same time, Joe worked for a small company that did not give annual merits, but he was unexpectedly given one.  I was astonished!  Joe and I were now able to buy a larger home.

Today, our goal is to use the larger home God has blessed us with for His glory, to share both what we’ve been given physically as well as the love of Jesus.  We host a Bible Study group and, although we do not have children, we have space for a designated playroom for childcare during the studies.  We also enjoy inviting both small and large groups of neighbors and friends for cookouts and bonfires, as well as indoor celebrations such as Thanksgiving and Easter.  God has blessed us indeed!

I don’t want to give the impression that God’s blessings for obedience will come within a short period of time or will always be immediately noticeable.  Sometimes, years pass and sometimes we do not see visible blessing at all.  Other times blessings are subtle, yet incredible.  For example, following God’s will (obedience) activates His power in our lives (blessing #1) and shapes us into the person we were created to be.  Since God’s will is perfect, the person we were created to be is the best possible person we can be (blessing #2).  We were created for a meaningful purpose.  Knowing and living out that purpose leads to peace and joy (blessing #’s 3 & 4)! 

I also want to point out that we should not be obedient to the commands of God purely for earthly blessing.  Don’t get me wrong, I love, appreciate, and even want God’s earthly blessings but I do not obey Him for the sake of those blessings.  God wants us to obey Him because we have come to know, love, and trust His ways, whether we are rewarded or not.  He wills that we come to a place where our obedience is not out of hope for earthly blessing, or fear of punishment, but because of who He is.  We are content to obey a righteous and loving God.

Sometimes following God’s will requires sacrifice.  While the outcome of obedience is always favorable in the end, obedience itself is not always easy.  But it is an act of worship that sets us apart as Christians.  In becoming the person we were created to be, we become more like Christ and, through this, God is glorified.  We honor God with our lives!  When we honor God with our lives, we point others to Jesus, the One who gives and sustains life. These, my friend, are definitions of true success!  And these will earn you the best blessings, treasures in heaven. 

Rewards in heaven are the greatest and most important blessings because they will last for eternity.  That is why the bible tells us we should live our lives with an eye toward eternity.  If our focus is on things eternal, our heart will be there also.  Life on earth is but a speck in eternity.  A speck.  Like a grain of sand on the seashore and a drop of water in the ocean, life on earth is a mere breath compared to eternity.  Here today, gone tomorrow.      

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6: 19-21 ESV)

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV)

Think of these heavenly blessings in terms of delayed gratification.  Like receiving a college degree after four years of study, and retirement after years of working, rewards in heaven will be worth the wait… and far superior.  Yes, our rewards in heaven, should we choose to pursue them, will be beyond our imagination.  Plus, we will be enjoying them for eternity in the very presence of Jesus!

To be clear, I would like to pause to mention an important difference between salvation (living in eternity with God) and the rewards we receive while we are there (treasures in heaven).  Salvation comes only through ‘belief’ in the saving and finished work of Jesus.  There is nothing we can do to earn it. 

God is a pure, perfect, and righteous God who cannot live in the presence of sin.  And we humans have all sinned.  God is also a just God… therefore, all sin will receive a just penalty, which is death.  That’s the bad news.  Now here’s the good news: Jesus willingly took our sins upon Himself and suffered the penalty of death in our place.  And because our debt for sin has been paid by Christ, we are purified by His blood.  God sees our sin no more and we are, thereby, able to live with Him in eternity.  This is the story of salvation. 

Rewards in heaven, on the other hand, are earned by how we live today.  Obediently following God’s will has favorable consequences for eternity.  Consequences that are worth pursuing.  Not pursuing these eternal rewards through obedience would be foolish because they are the only ones that are permanent! 

And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. (1 Peter 5:4 NIV)

Our obedience also impacts others by showing them a different way to live.  A way that is eternally better than the way of this world.  A way that was opened by the obedience of Jesus Himself, obedience to the point of death.  And through His death, the world was offered salvation.  If Christ would not have obeyed, we would be dead in our sin.  Just like Adam’s disobedience led us to death, Jesus’ obedience gave us life!

Are you living in obedience with an eye toward heaven or do you chase the pleasures of this temporary world?  Do you believe in eternity?  On earth, we are living in a speck of eternity, but it is up to us to choose where and how we will live in eternity following the speck.  I pray we choose wisely. 

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. (Deuteronomy 30:19, 20a NIV)

However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV)

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Still Growing

Four Essential Keys to Success: #2 Prayer

by Tracy Brackett

4/26/12 1:40 a.m. 

I have heard your prayer. You are aware of your own strength and the strength you will need from Me in all things. I will give you the strength you need. I will give you love and wisdom in your heart. I will prosper you so you can accomplish My will with abundant resources. I will move you to do the right things. I will bless you both and I will show you the power of My love through you to others. Know that I hear all your prayers and gladly answer all that are in accordance with My will. Know I am with you and I love you.


5/9/12 3:22 a.m.

Pray often. Pray to Me. Speak to Me daily. I love to hear from you. Focus on prayer this week and see the difference. Prayer changes everything. You will see. Ask Me anything and I will answer you. Speak to Me daily and I will hear you. Know that I love you. Know that I am with you. Call out to Me and I will be there. Start again today. See My answers clearly. I await your call.

In my last post, I discussed the importance of a daily ‘quiet time’, spending time alone at the feet of Jesus.  I gave examples of how this dedicated time with the Lord translates to true success in the life of a believer.  I shared how learning about God (and myself) through daily bible study has had a positive and fruitful impact on my own life.

While quiet time does not need to consist solely of bible study, it is where I tend to spend the most time.  Knowing the Word of God not only transforms and perfects our character, it arms us with truth that is needed to navigate the deceptiveness of our present world.  But quiet time can also include listening for God to speak in the silence (or meditating), journaling, praising our Lord through music, and prayer.

Although prayer is often a part of quiet time, I am intentionally highlighting it on its own for two reasons.  First, for some who do practice a daily quiet time, I believe prayer is often absent.  Second, for those who do pray with some regularity, the outcome of those prayers is sometimes confusing.  I have experienced both.  Let’s dig a little deeper.

Bible study is one of the many ways God speaks to us.  In scripture, God reveals Himself and His plan to save the world through Jesus.  He also shows us how to live and order our lives this side of heaven.  There is encouragement and wisdom for difficult times and promises of blessing for obedience (blessings not to be confused with salvation, which only comes through believing in and accepting the sacrifice of Jesus).

Prayer, on the other hand, is the way we speak to God.  During this discipline, we can speak to God in many ways.  A guided and popular way to pray is by using the ACTS acronym.  We praise God for who He is through Adoration.  We repent of our sin through Confession.  We express gratitude to God for all He has done through Thanksgiving.  We present requests for ourselves and others through Supplication. 

When I begin my quiet time, I want to jump right into Bible Study.  I am anxious to hear from God and learn as much as I can through His Word.  I want to read and re-read, search for key words, find repetitive words or phrases and absorb His principles.  I want to analyze and interpret.  I enjoy seeing key thoughts or ideas jump out at me.  I delight in the ‘ah ha’ moments.  Because of this love for the study of God’s Word, I sometimes forget to pray.

I believe in praying before bible study to thank God for His written Word and to ask Him to open my eyes, mind, and heart to both understand and follow it.  In jumping right in, I risk not having the proper posture to fully absorb God’s truths.  God’s Word is powerful, but it can also be confusing.  Through prayer, God can open our eyes to see what He wants us to see for that day’s study.  We simply need to express our desire to see it.

Luckily, conversation with God can happen any time of the day.  What is most important is that we pray daily.  Prayer can be formal or informal.  I have lots of informal conversation with God, at random times, and in reaction to just about anything – when I’m perplexed, thankful, frustrated, unsure, repentant, or awe struck.  Below is a summary of what my typical prayers, formal and informal, look like at various times of the day.

I praise God for the beauty and brilliance of His creation, from how intricately we humans are made to the interaction of birds eating from the feeder in our yard, building nests, and raising babies in our flowers.  I can’t look at the immense ocean, enormous mountains, or countless stars in the sky without feeling amazed.  I stand in awe of beautiful clouds, sunsets, and rainbows.  God lovingly created it all.  Recognizing God’s marvelous creation reminds me how vast He is and instills in me a gladness that He is my Father.  If He created everything out of nothing with a Word then, surely, He could contend with my greatest difficulties. 

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. (Psalm 19:1-2 NIV)

I thank God for providing my most basic needs; a roof over my head, clothing for my body, food, and water to sustain me, and the love and support of family and friends.  I also thank God for less essential, yet incredibly abundant, blessings; a car for transportation, a comfortable bed to sleep in, air conditioning in the hot Carolina summer, hot tea on a cold winter day, and ice-cream (anytime!).  Most importantly, I thank God for the gift of salvation through Jesus that I don’t deserve and can never earn, yet He gives it so freely.  God is a good God.  Regularly thanking Him for all that He blesses me with helps me to remember how fortunate I am.  It keeps me joyful in what I have rather than pining for what I do not have.

I confess to God when I fail to uphold His standards.  I say I’m sorry when I speak unlovingly to one of His other children.  I repent when I don’t trust Him.  I apologize for disobedience.  Confessing my sin to the Lord reminds me I am imperfect.  It keeps me in my rightful place in relation to Him.  It helps me to remember that I am not God.  I recognize how much I need Him.  I see more clearly how much I need Jesus.

I ask God to bless me in my walk with Him, keep me from dishonoring His name, and soften my heart toward others.  I pray for wisdom and strength in the difficult times.  I request guidance in my decision-making.  I talk things through with God when I’m frustrated or angry.  I invite Him to walk beside me in everything.

I also intercede for others.  I ask God to bless and protect my family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors.  I pray specifically for the challenges people are facing.  I pray for my enemies and the people who hurt me.  I also pray for people I don’t know, those who are victims of oppression, slavery, addiction, and so on.  I call for God to reveal Himself in a powerful and saving way in this pandemic and amid racial tensions.  I ask for equality for all human beings.  I pray for wisdom for our political and church leaders.  I pray against wrongful political agendas.  I pray for the world’s salvation, that all people would recognize their need for Jesus.

By asking God for help for myself and others, I acknowledge He is all powerful, all knowing, all wise, and all competent.  I am reminded that I am not any of these things, but I can have them with Him by my side.  I also recognize I am not in control.  This allows me to leave things I can’t control at His feet, and I am freed to focus on the things I can.  This decreases stress, which inevitably increases peace.

I am currently working on consistency in formal prayer during quiet time, and on daily prayer in general.  I remind myself that even Jesus spent time in conversation with His Father. 

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. (Mark 1:35 NIV)

Prayer is not only essential in our relationship with God, it is also powerful and effective for a pure and humble heart.

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (John 5:16b NIV)

I believe many of us experience uncertainties about the outcome of our prayers.  I will offer a few ideas as to why this may be so.  When having conversation with God, He is fully aware of our posture, heart, and motive.  God wants a relationship with us, but He is also Sovereign.  We need to approach Him with the highest respect.  Carelessly approaching God as if we are His equal, as though He owes us something, or with the wrong motive will yield our prayers ineffective.  These are mistakes I have made in my own prayer life.    

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (James 4:3 NIV)

A righteous person, or one with a pure heart toward God, prays with respect and honor and according to the will of God.  And God always answers prayers that are in line with His will.  We can ask God for almost anything but if we are asking out of selfish motives with no concern for the will of God, our prayer will not be answered.  However, if we pray for what we want, but allow God’s will to prevail, our prayers will be effective.  We may not always get the answer we want, but we will always get the answer we need.  To understand the will of God, we can read His Word and ask Him to reveal it.       

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. (1 John 5:14 NIV)

Another prayer mistake is forcing the answer to be the one we are looking for and attributing that answer to God.  My most memorable example is when I experienced medical burnout in the workplace (as described in my ‘Growing Pains’ post).  I prayed on several occasions for God to tell me I could quit, but I kept hearing “not yet”.  So, I continued to work to the point of burnout.  Because of my pride, I didn’t really want to quit.  I didn’t want to be labeled a quitter and feel like a failure.  So, I heard the answer I wanted to hear.  Ever since that experience, I now remind myself of this: If it’s not good, it’s not God.

Other times, I have heard the answer I wanted to hear concerning things ‘I viewed as good’, such as “should I buy this car?” or “should I date this guy?”.  This often happens when we really want something, even though we know we can’t afford the car, and the guy we are head over heels for is not good for us.  For me, the guy I made this mistake with did not have the same Christian beliefs that I did, and dating him pulled me away from, rather than closer to, Jesus.  Eventually, after some painful mistakes, I allowed God to reveal ‘His’ will and forced myself to walk away from the guy.  In all honesty, this was incredibly difficult and painful.  I suffered for a time following that breakup… but Jesus has been so very worth it!  And today, having Joe as a husband is one of the greatest blessings I have ever been given!    

God loves us beyond our understanding and His will is always perfect.  But that doesn’t mean we can understand His will perfectly… at least not this side of heaven. The truth is, sometimes we get answers we just don’t understand.  This is where faith in our Sovereign God is tested and some hard questions rise to the surface.  Will we continue to follow God even when we don’t understand?  Will we trust in the things we cannot see?  My prayer is that we ‘will’ choose to follow and trust in our Lord because, with everything in me, I do believe He is worth it.    

I want to leave you with this thought.  Although God is so much bigger than we are, we are still made in His image.  As a result, God has characteristics that are not unlike our own.  He not only wants us to believe in and know Him, He wants a relationship with us (a two-way conversation).  Not unlike a human, God desires for us to recognize and praise Who He is, His uniqueness, His greatness.  He wants us to apologize when we hurt Him.  He appreciates it when we acknowledge and thank Him for His gifts.  And He wants us to ask Him for help when we need it.

Do you have a genuine relationship with God?  Do you have a deep and fruitful prayer life?  Do you adore Him?  Do you thank Jesus for his everyday gifts and mercies?  Do you apologize when you hurt Him?  Do you see God for who He is, Holy and righteous?  Are you reverent before Him?  Do you want God’s will as opposed to your own?  Do you see God as capable of seeing you through your greatest challenges?  Do you trust Him?  Friend, remember, God is everything and in need of nothing.  And, yet He still wants to commune with us.    

I believe prayer, practiced with a pure heart, to be another essential key to true success.  Recognition of and joy in God’s amazing creation.  Forgiveness for our shortcomings, and growth, through confession.  A full and satisfied heart through thankfulness.  Guidance from a Father who sees all and wants what’s best for us.  Strength and wisdom through tapping into the power of Jesus.  Joy and peace through gifts of the Holy Spirit.  And so much more.  Will you pray with me?

Lord, I know that you are Sovereign and righteous.  I know I am broken and in need of your forgiveness and healing.  Jesus, I know that you died for this very reason, and I thank you for Your eternal sacrifice.  I accept your gift of salvation and I invite You into my heart as my personal God and Savior.  Lord, please help me to live a good and righteous life, according to Your will, even if at the expense of my own will.  God, I pray that you will change the desires of my heart to be in line with yours.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.              

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. (Colossians 4:2 NIV)

All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. (Proverbs 16:2 NIV)

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10 NIV)

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ReflectionsStill Growing

Your Trust Will Equal Your Peace

by Tracy Brackett

9/7/13 4:00 a.m.

Be at peace and know that I am God, your God. I am in control and I am sovereign. I work all things for good in your life. So be at peace and trust in My divine plan. My plans for you are good. Trust, My child. I am Holy and righteous and true. Keep close to Me and allow My strength and peace to penetrate your being. I love you, My child. Know that I am with you at all times. Draw from Me all you need to live on earth according to My kingdom values. My kingdom way. Your trust will equal your peace. Hope in Me today and be at peace. I am yours and I love you. Peace be yours, today and always.

We have all experienced moments of peace.  Whether it graces us with its presence while sitting on the beach, sailing on the ocean, looking out from the top of a mountain, quilting a blanket, playing the piano, or watching a child giggle with glee, we all know peace is good.  These moments are welcome, and we cherish them.

At the same time, if you are human, you know that peace can be elusive amid the hustle, bustle, and reality of life.  If you have worried about the safety of a loved one, felt stress over an unmanageable debt or illness (potential or real), or anxiety about a work deadline, then you know worry does not produce peace.  Yet, we have all allowed ourselves to experience this emotion.  At times, such as now, amid an uncertain pandemic, unmasked racial tensions, death, and understandable anger, peace does not seem attainable in our own hearts let alone the world.

To even attempt to tackle a discussion on world peace in one post would not only be overwhelming, but impossible.  Instead, I would like to discuss the possibility of experiencing consistent peace in our own hearts, a peace that transcends human understanding.  My focus in this post will be on your heart and mine.

Consider the below biblical promises:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27 NIV)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

If we understand and believe the above scripture (the Word of God Himself) with all our mind, heart, soul, and strength, we will experience peace that transcends human understanding.  We will experience peace in both the certain and uncertain times simply because we choose to believe God is who He says He is.  If we trust in God’s eternal promises, then worry will no longer have a place of control in our lives.  Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? 

The obvious question is ‘why’ don’t more of us have this kind of peace?  I think part of the answer lies in our continual dependence on ourselves.  We want to believe we can make it on our own.  We want to prove we have the talent and knowledge to do it.  That we just need to put in the appropriate effort, and everything will be fine.  And this does seem to work in some areas of our lives which, I believe, causes us to have a false sense of security… for a time.  It’s when something outside our control, strength or knowledge confronts us that we need to work harder at figuring it out.  After much thought and effort, and the solution is not easily before us, we worry.

Let’s revisit the scripture above.  Through His inspired Word, God says: “Trust in the Lord… lean not on your own understanding… submit to Him… do not worry about your life… do not fear… I am with you… I will strengthen you and help you… I will uphold you… “

It seems in relying entirely on self, we have missed the point!  To be clear, we do have an important role in our own lives.  God gives us free will to make our own decisions.  He wants us to think, feel, respond, and act.  But God asks us to do this through the lens of His will and way for our lives.  We can absolutely choose not to – that is the definition of free will.  But God knew we humans are prone to wander and He, in His amazing wisdom and mercy, provided a guidebook for life called the Holy Bible.  We have a choice.  We can choose to follow God’s way instead of our own and, if we do, He will make our paths straight. 

Think of it this way.  If you only had partial knowledge about a dilemma but had to decide anyway, you would make what you believe is the best decision based on the information you have.  Given more (or complete) knowledge about that situation, your decision could be different.  The reality of life is we humans never have complete knowledge… but God does.  He sees all, knows all, and holds all wisdom.  After all, He created us and the world we live in.  He is Sovereign and can be in all places at the same time.  In His Word (the Bible), He teaches us the best possible way to live in the world He created. 

Think of God as our mentor as exemplified in His Son Jesus Christ.  If you had a mentor in the workplace who had far more experience than you, you would not only observe their behavior, but you would also seek their opinion when faced with certain decisions.  There is no mentor greater than Jesus.  And unlike flawed human mentors, Jesus is flawless.  He can be trusted.  I believe we lack consistent peace due to an incomplete trust in the Word of God or, put more simply, in God Himself.        

I believe a second part to the answer as to why many of us do not experience consistent peace lies in our fallen world.  A world where Satan roams the earth and tries to steal our peace and joy.  Satan is a fallen angel who wanted to be God, but he lost the battle for sovereignty.  But Satan is real, and he is still fighting.  He wants to ‘win us’ to his side of the battle.  The battle of good versus evil.  Satan is also crafty.  He knows a thing or two about human weakness and this is where he does his best work.  Friend, do not be fooled about the power of evil in this temporary world we live in.  We absolutely need the all-knowing, all wise God to help us navigate the mine field.    

And although I have lost sleep navigating the mine field of life, time and time again, God has come through.  More and more I can say, yes, Lord I trust You.  And more and more I feel a peace that once evaded me.  A peace that is delightful.  Let me provide some context by introducing what I will call the four P’s of peace: purpose, protection, provision, and people.

I will start by telling you I have worried about all the things I listed in the second paragraph above, and more.  Much of the stress I’ve experienced has come from high expectations for myself.  As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to be excellent at everything.  Mediocre has never been acceptable.  And, naturally, with this kind of expectation comes stress and anxiety.  What if I am not good enough… what if I say the wrong thing… what if I go blank… what if I don’t get an A… what if… It’s exhausting, really. 

Fortunately, I’ve moved past some of this simply by maturing and realizing I can’t be excellent at everything.  God created each of us to be naturally great at some things and not so great at others.  That’s why we need our diverse world – we form one complete body under Christ, the head, and together we are simply better, stronger, wiser and, honestly, more beautiful. 

Today, I trust I have been given gifts and talents that are perfectly suited for my unique purpose.  God is faithful that way.  He never asks us to do anything He doesn’t equip us for.  He will also not ask us to do something He will not walk through with us.  This trust has led to peace in my purpose.

I have also lost peace in the past due to fear of harm or danger.  Watching horror films, experiencing nightmares, and learning about psychopaths through my study of psychology, no doubt, contributed.  In addition, age and illness in our mortal bodies is an ever-looming threat.  At the age of 51, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and died at the age of 55.  She was my best friend.  It goes without saying, those four years were painful for her, me, and our family.  Since my grandmother also experienced a bout of cancer, I knew it ran in my family.  And you can’t help but wonder if you will face it someday as well. 

Over time, however, study of God’s Word and understanding His great love for me has removed these fears.  I now realize while evil may one day harm my ‘body’, it will never be able to destroy my ‘soul’.  I have salvation in the arms of Jesus for eternity.  And although I can’t know when my physical life will end, if God has even one thing for me to do on this earth, I believe He will keep me safe until it is completed.  I have peace in God’s protection.

Another worry I’ve experienced was in my ability to earn sufficient income to cover essential bills as well as non-essential luxuries.  At the time, I did not fully understand God’s approach to money.  But I was blessed in my early 30’s to be involved in a course that taught a biblical approach to managing finances (through an organization called Crown Financial Ministries).  Through studying God’s Word on money, I realized everything belongs to God and learned to become a good steward of the money and possessions He entrusts to me.  I learned the difference between a ‘want’ and a ‘need’ and became more responsible in my spending, saving, investing, and giving habits.  In response, God has been faithful to provide everything I need, and more.  This has led to peace in God’s provision.      

Yes, I have directly experienced the gift of seeing the true freedom God’s peace provides.  But I have not exited the battlefield.  There is still one major area in which I struggle with peace and it relates to people. 

You already know from prior posts that I wrestle immensely with the wrong in our world, the ever spreading and contagious disease of self, and the general indifference people have toward others… lack of genuine consideration in believers and unbelievers alike.  And because I ‘expect’ people should be better, I become frustrated when they are not.  Time and time again, this has led to disillusionment and lack of peace.    

In my struggle with high expectations of people, including myself, Satan identified my weakness and has gained a foothold in stealing my peace.  I know this to be one of my greatest areas of necessary growth… an area I need the strength of God for.  And I am slowly learning to trust God when it comes to His ongoing work in myself and others.  I am learning to both decrease my expectations and increase my patience and understanding.  And though I’ll admit it’s not easy, I am slowly learning to give the control (control that I’ll never have) to whom it belongs… to God.

So, let me ask you, friend… Are you willing to trust in the God who not only created you, but loves you beyond any human love you will experience?  Will you trust God even when you can’t see His purpose, knowing He works all things for good?  Will you trust Him in the middle of this pandemic?  Will you trust Him amid racial tensions that have no clear end?  Will you resist Satan and turn to God for answers?  Will you trust that God is ultimately the One in control?  These are difficult but important questions.  Friend, to the extent we can trust our sovereign Father, our trust will equal our peace.    

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NIV)

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)  

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Looking BackStill Growing

The Cancer of Pride

by Tracy Brackett

1/19/14 2:42 AM

Be higher. Take the higher road than those who refuse to obey My commands. Treat others well regardless of how they treat you. Be above the immaturity and unprofessionalism. Do not get even. Do not be unprofessional. Be the adult. Be the Christian. Know that your response and behavior matter. You are representing Me, and your representation matters for My kingdom. People can be turned off from Me based on your behavior in only one circumstance. It is not worth the chance to lose one soul, one child of Mine. Think of the seriousness of this. Your response matters. Respond according to My will always. According to My way. It is the only true way. It leads to grace and love and salvation. Share My way with others and see the kingdom value of your actions. Love is the key.

One of my greatest challenges of all time, and one that I continue to struggle with today, is humble submission in the workplace.  To be clear, I find it easy to submit to those who are kind, considerate, realistic, reliable, humble, and driven by integrity.  I think we all do.  But I do not have a great track record of responding well to what I consider poor leadership.  Over and over, I have failed the test of workplace submission in the face of a Supervisor who has been inconsiderate, unreliable, unrealistic, self-centered, dishonest, or simply mean.  In fact, I clearly remember one such Supervisor, who I will call Tina for the purpose of this post, who proved to be a solid test for my weakness in this area.  The very memory causes me to cringe.

Tina was a Christian, had a bubbly personality, and was well liked by executive management.  She was also a hard worker and had high career aspirations.  From the outside looking in, I expect you would see Tina in a positive light.  But, from the inside, she was more like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, one moment kind and considerate and the next surprisingly mean.  At first, I couldn’t understand why executive management favored her.  Over time, however, I saw that Tina was quite adept at workplace politics.  While those below her had the misfortune of seeing Mr. Hyde, those equal to or above her status only saw the easy to get along with Dr. Jekyll.

Tina made promises she didn’t keep and showed favoritism among team members.  She would say things to scare the team into working long hours for a deadline that didn’t actually exist, sometimes causing missed commitments in our personal lives.  And because Tina was comfortable with subtle manipulation to get what she wanted; I would often see inconsistencies in the things she said without her even realizing it.  She even knew how to word e-mails, at times slightly deceiving, in her own favor.  Her main goal in life seemed to be climbing the corporate ladder and she was, in fact, particularly good at it.  But for me, and some other employees below her ranks, she was less than deserving.

For a long time, I was outwardly submissive to Tina knowing it is what God calls me to do, but inside I was full of resentment.  Eventually, I attempted to talk to Tina about how her management style was affecting my team, including our work-life balance.  She would not hear it.  We just needed to get the work done.  She had no sympathy for extracurricular activities.  A couple of times, I was unsuccessful at containing my resentment and candidly showed my anger and frustration… but Tina was retaliatory.  My show of anger resulted in additional work received at 5 PM (to be completed that day) or embarrassment in staff meetings.  I greatly disrespected Tina and everything about her.

Sitting here reflecting, I can honestly say I felt justified in my dislike for Tina.  In my mind, she was completely self-focused and did not deserve my respect.  You might even agree with me.  But let me dissect this a little further so we can see it from multiple angles.

First, what did my release of anger accomplish?  Sure, it made me feel better for a moment, but it certainly didn’t make my work life any easier.  I also allowed it to steal my joy beyond the workplace.  Resentment emanating from pride is like cancer.  I carried it home with me and, by harboring it, I allowed it to spread and negatively affect my personal life as well.

Second, remember that Tina was a professed Christian.  While her management style certainly didn’t reflect this, I responded to this wrong with another wrong by not controlling my anger.  In so doing, I dishonored my own Christianity.

… for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20 ESV)

Not only did I disrespect someone who was placed over me, but I also disrespected God by not obeying His command to be submissive to those He places over me. 

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. (Romans 13:1-2 NIV)

I fully realize this scripture will be hard to swallow for many readers and, believe me, it has also been challenging for me.  It is extremely difficult to believe that God would purposely place someone over us who is not godly.  But I have come to understand that sometimes God allows these situations as part of our purification – the kind I talked about in my “Growing Pains” post.  For example, I would not have seen my own weakness if I always reported to honest and considerate Supervisors.  If everything were to my liking, I would not have seen, over and over, how much my pride affects my response in the workplace.  The truth is my struggle with Tina was not the first time I allowed my pride to manifest in outspoken anger.  I believe God allowed this situation for my growth and character refinement and, quite possibly, for the growth and character refinement of Tina.  God works in unknown ways that we sometimes find hard to understand but, make no mistake, God is always working for good.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 ESV)

And by learning to submit to those God places over me, I am submitting to God Himself.  

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving (Colossians 3:23-24 NIV)

Lastly, think about who may have been watching.  If I am not following the commands of God, I am falsely representing Him to those who know I call myself a Christian.  Think of the impact of this truth.  If I call myself a Christian, then I affiliate myself with Jesus Christ.  Those who know something about Christianity (Tina and others) expect certain behaviors of me both within and outside the workplace.  When those behaviors are not exhibited, they will either doubt my sincerity as a follower of Christ or, if their own faith is weak or new, they may see my ‘example’ as an acceptable Christian behavior.  And for those who know nothing about Christianity, they will wrongly learn about Christ through observing my non-Christ-like behavior.  They will not see the love and forgiveness God offers through Jesus and they may be turned off from Christianity all together.  Now my pride has ‘infected’ others.  For Tina, she did not get to witness God’s grace through my patient and loving response to her… simply because I failed to exhibit a patient and loving response.

On the other hand, if I would have swallowed my pride and showed respect and grace toward Tina, she (and others) would have seen there was something different about me.  I would have given them a picture of Jesus.  Over time, Tina may have even softened toward change in herself.  I lost that opportunity. 

I understand showing kindness to someone who hurts us is not only counter intuitive but extremely difficult.  We want to lash back.  We want them to feel the same pain we feel.  We do not want to turn the other cheek.  But that is the mysterious beauty of our God.  He calls His children to love differently than the world loves, and He calls us to do it even when it hurts.  God loves us and forgives us despite the fact we really don’t deserve it.  This is the very definition of grace – we receive something we did not earn and do not deserve.  God is simply asking us to offer others the same grace He shows us.  In addition to this, God wants to change our hearts so that we can outwardly love without inward resentment.  It was the resentment I held in my heart toward Tina that lead to my angry outburst. 

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Matthew 12:34b NIV)

Had I not harbored that resentment, there would have been no temptation toward anger.  As humans, this ‘heart change’ is not something we can easily accomplish on our own.  We are broken vessels in need of repair.  We need the power of God’s Spirit working in us and we need to pray for this change.  Will God answer this prayer?  Absolutely!  Why wouldn’t God want to give us something that makes us more like Him? 

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26 NIV)

The most important question is can I put my love for and obedience to God before my pride?  If I want to be an accurate representation of Jesus, I must.  People do not see the love of God through dissension.  If I choose my pride over grace and god-like love for others, then I am a ‘cafeteria Christian’, picking and choosing which of God’s commands I will follow.  As a Christian with true saving faith, I should want to follow all of them.  And I do.  And when I do, I need to trust God with the outcome.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. (Romans 12:17 NIV)

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12:19 NIV)

For the past two weeks, I have been praying daily for God’s love and grace to penetrate my very soul so that it fills my heart and overflows to others – to those I think are deserving and to those I think are not.  Friend, don’t under-estimate your example and impact on others.  People are watching closer than you think.  Let us aspire to love like Jesus, the One who gave His very life for those who hated and betrayed Him. 

Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:7-8 NIV)

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Hopeful FutureStill Growing

Who Do You Love?

by Tracy Brackett

9/13/12  3:08 a.m. 

Beware of evil lurking at your door. Do not allow it in. Pray and be wise. Send evil away. Behave maturely and humbly. Do not allow evil any foothold. Love at all times. Force Satan to leave. Satan does not stay where he does not have success. Follow My lead and My guidance. Respond like Jesus and adhere to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Love at all times. Focus on this love with those who are hard to love. This is where your actions make the biggest difference, the largest impact. Loving the unlovely, loving the arrogant, loving the selfish. This is what I do, and I call you to love like Me. Love in action and word and see your joy multiply. See relationships flourish. See people change. Love is a miracle. Taste and see.

Recently, while reading over my ‘middle of the night’ messages, I was reminded there are more on ‘love’ than any other topic.  Hmm.  One could easily conclude I’m a cold person if I needed that many reminders to be more loving.  And that’s a fair conclusion.  I’ve already stated in a prior post that I felt the messages were for me.  But here’s the thing – in the Bible, love is the greatest commandment, first to love God and then to love our neighbors as ourselves.  If we are honest (and I hope we can be), we all have certain personalities that we struggle to love.  And I am no different.   

As far back as I can remember, I have struggled with arrogant personalities.  I’m not talking about someone who is occasionally arrogant.  That would be all of us (and I’m not condoning it).  I am talking about someone who is consistently arrogant, someone who thinks themselves better than most, someone who consistently brags or feels the need to show how great they are.  I also struggle greatly with self-centered personalities.  Not those who are occasionally self-centered.  Again, that would be all of us.  I am talking about those who are blatantly selfish and inconsiderate of others on a consistent basis.  Escaping the presence of arrogant and selfish personalities is usually something I want to accomplish as quickly as possible.  To me, these personalities are unlovely.  And I don’t say this easily.  My pride wants to tell you that I am a super loving person all the time, that I’ve learned this lesson well, and those multiple ‘love’ messages are part of my past.  But it would be a lie.  And I suspect I am not alone. 

What types of personalities do you find unlovely?  I’m talking about personalities that may or may not be sinful.  In some case, they are just ‘different’. I’m not asking you to write a personal blog about it; just to admit it to yourself so you can get the most out of this personal blog.  Sound fair?  Ok, I’ll give you a minute to reflect…

Truth is, whether we admit it or not, we all have personalities that rub us the wrong way or cause our blood pressure to rise.  And here’s another truth – you may be an unlovely personality to someone.  The day God opened my eyes to see this was the day I was truly humbled.  I am someone’s unlovely or difficult person.

Across the face of this earth are many different personalities, cultures, and belief systems spanning many different experiences.  We are all different and it is quite common for us humans to congregate toward those who are most like us and to move away from those who are different.  We don’t like different.  We don’t understand different.  And herein lies the problem.

God is love.  He is not partly love or sometimes love.  God is 100% love 100% of the time.  When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He didn’t die for some personalities; He died out of pure love for all personalities, all cultures, and all skin colors.  The love of Christ is inclusive, not selective.  If we want to be more like Jesus, then we need to work on loving all personalities, all people, all the time.  And for us humans, this is not easy. 

I don’t need to go into detail about what is happening in our society today.  We all see the racial and political tensions.  And for African Americans, this is more than a today problem.  This is both a historical and present-day problem.  As Janetta Oni in a Summit Church interview said, “This is a ‘lived experience’ problem.”  And all African Americans know that it will be a future problem without real and dramatic change.  And that change needs to start with our mindset.  We need to stop and realize that different doesn’t mean ‘less than equal’ or unlovely. 

We all judge our neighbors in some form or fashion, and we all need to repent of our human bias.  We need to address sin head-on starting with our own.  For me, and for all of us, repentance must come first.  I need to recognize that I am not loving like Jesus.  Without that recognition, nothing else can happen.  Following repentance, I need to make the effort to understand those who rub me the wrong way.  Perhaps if I understood their background and history, I would see them differently.  I might even understand the reason for their arrogance or selfishness.  Perhaps if I came to know them, we might become friends.  This takes both time and intentionality and I need to be willing to invest the effort.  Otherwise, I remain separated from those who rub me the wrong way… and separation is not of God.      

Likewise, for racial issues.  For us to correct our sin of judgment, bias, hate, complacency, or indifference (yes, this too is sin), we need to be intentional about addressing it.  First, are we even aware of the problem?  By now, I hope most of us are.  Second, does our awareness come with a genuine understanding of the problem?  If not, we need to seek education on this topic.  I believe with a true understanding of this issue, we will be spurred to act.  This action may be speaking up against a racial joke, defending our multi-cultural friends and neighbors against racial attacks, or participating in awareness and education campaigns.  Some of us may even have the influence to propel political and legal change that will help shape a diverse, unified, and equal future.  At the very least, we need to teach our children about the equality of all human life… that racial bias will not be tolerated.  

I want to reiterate the reason for these very real, historical and current day issues and that reason is recurring and perpetual sin – loving self more than others… ignoring the issue of bias in our own hearts, sweeping racial tensions under the carpet, looking the other way, etc.  If you believe you are an innocent bystander in our world’s sin issue, I ask you to reconsider your position.  Who do you see as unlovely?  Who do you disregard?  What glaring sin have you been indifferent to?  Consider this: even though you may be unlovely to someone, you are not unlovely to God.  And those you see as unlovely are also not unlovely to God.  He loves us despite our imperfections, and He is asking us to love others despite theirs.  God also loves our differences and He sees them as beautiful!  Understanding the depth of God’s love and forgiveness in our own lives should spur us on to be more patient and loving with the personality and physical differences of others.  Intentionally working to instill love and understanding in our hearts will be the very catalyst to change.  Love is powerful.  To choose not to love is to give evil a foothold.  And make no mistake, friend, we have given evil a foothold.  With each choice not to love, sin is perpetuated.  If God is love (and He is), then love is stronger than evil.  With a genuine desire on our part, God can change our hearts and love can be increased in a world that so desperately needs it. 

I am praying for genuine love in my own heart for all people and I am praying for love in your heart as well.  Let us seek repentance and unification together!

There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10 NIV). 

Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39 NIV)

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)

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