December 2020

I still remember how stressed I was the year my friends decided to have a Christmas party, including a gift exchange.  It wasn’t the party itself that caused me stress.  I was excited to come together and celebrate with friends over good food and fellowship.  I truly felt blessed to have these friends.  It was the gift exchange part of the party that spiked my anxiety.  It wasn’t a White Elephant or Secret Santa gift exchange.  Instead, everyone would be buying for everyone.  And, when you considered significant others and spouses, it translated to a lot of people!

I experienced two stresses over this event: 1) how was I going to buy that many gifts without blowing my budget? and 2) what in the world was I going to buy everyone?  Equally stressful as overspending was the desire to buy something people would like or would at least find useful.  Since we didn’t send each other wish lists, I felt lost over what would be fitting for each person.  I had a vision of what I purchased ending up in the garbage or sitting in the back corner of dresser drawers waiting for the next yard sale.  I had seen it happen before and I cringed at the waste of time and money.

For me, although I had a budget, it wasn’t about being cheap, it was more of wanting to invest my time and money into something that would make my friends smile or feel special, or maybe even understood… instead of the weight of collecting more junk that they didn’t know what to do with.  While I was blessed to have such a large group of friends, the truth was I wasn’t close to all of them and I didn’t have the foggiest idea what some of them would like.  I lost sleep that Christmas.  And I certainly lost sight of the real reason we were, or should have been, celebrating.

Christmas truly is a special time of year.  The sounds, the lights, the music, the food, and fellowship.  Friends and families gathering with love on display more than any other time of year.  What a gift God has given us in the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the God child who grows up perfect and all deserving of everything good and right yet suffers profoundly to reconcile us back to His Father.

I wonder how many of us see this Christmas miracle for what it is.  Jesus is the radiance of God Himself, yet He humbles himself to take the form of a human.  Jesus is perfect, yet He allows the imperfection of our human world to betray, spit on, scourge, and hang Him on a cross to die.  Jesus shows mercy to the unmerciful, generosity to the undeserving, and forgiveness to the unforgiving.  And yet, all too often, we celebrate Christmas as if Jesus never existed.  In His own selfless act of sacrifice, Jesus opens the way to forgiveness and salvation, yet we forget Him.  How can this be?

Somewhere along the way, someone turned Christmas into a ‘commercialized holiday’ and so many of us followed suit.  We bought into the lie that Christmas is about the best decorations, food, and gifts money can buy.  We bought into the lie that Christmas is about us.  And we neglected to notice the stress and anxiety that came along with it.  In a world gone greedy, we forgot to see the simplicity that Christmas was meant to be.  We forgot Jesus.

We agree to greet with ‘happy holidays’ in the name of respecting unbelievers or those of other faiths.  In so doing, we neglect to respect the very reason for the celebration – Jesus.  Merry Christmas, the day our Lord and Savior was born.  Christmas is a Christian celebration of the birth of Jesus and we should not allow it to be portrayed any other way.  To allow it would be to honor man above God Himself.

I made a decision that Christmas.  I would no longer allow the stress of the season to remove my peace and joy in celebrating the birth of Jesus.  I would no longer make gifts and decorating the central purpose.  I would simplify and Jesus would be the center.  Today, Joe and I may or may not buy each other a gift at Christmas.  Often, we do not.  We focus on time with each other and time with friends.  We decorate and cook but we manage both at the lowest level of stress possible.  If it starts to feel hectic, we stop and remind ourselves of the reason for the season.  We fix our eyes on Jesus.

For Joe and me, Christmas is one of the most joyous times of the year.  But we try to remember that it is not a happy time for everyone.  For those who have lost loved ones, live alone, or are far from family, it can be very lonely.  For others, who do not have the extra funds to buy gifts, or even necessities, for their children, it is an incredibly stressful time.  We try to remember these people at Christmas and do what we can to reduce their anxiety.  Whether it’s shopping for a family in need or extending an open invitation to Christmas dinner, it’s these simple things I believe Jesus would want for His birthday.

What about you?  Do you allow Christmas to be unnecessarily stressful?  Do you insist on or feel obligated to exchange gifts?  Do you worry your image is dependent on the expense of the presents you buy, the extravagance of the meal you cook, or the perfection of your decorations?  Have you lost the joy that giving, and receiving, was meant to be?  On a scale of 1-10, what is your general stress level at Christmas?

Whoever came up with the idea of picking names when part of a large family was thinking clearly!  And whoever thought of the White Elephant gift exchange when hosting a Christmas party was a genius!  You buy one gift, which has a price limit, and instead of fretting over what to buy a specific person, you buy a general gift that most people would enjoy, or a prank gift meant to add a little laughter to the party.  The party becomes more about gathering and merriment than about pressure and spending.  With this, the joy of the season, spending memorable time with friends and family while celebrating the birth of Jesus has the possibility of being restored.

Likewise, the one who invented the Angel tree was also on to something beautiful.  Purchasing gifts or meals for those less fortunate during a time when God blessed us all is a blessing paid forward.  It’s a simple, yet powerful, act of compassion in response to our gratefulness for all we have received.  Yes, Christmas is about Jesus as well as the love and compassion we show others during the Christmas season.  This is Christmas simplicity.  This is Christmas peace.