8/19/12 3:33 a.m.
The road to joy and happiness is rocky. There are barriers and crevices along the way. With careful maneuvering, you can bypass the barriers and avoid the crevices. More likely, though, you will need to face these obstacles and overcome them in order to move on. Knowing this, prepare yourself for these challenges so that you are ready to face them with confidence. Preparation takes prayer and careful self-reflection, practice, thought, and planning. Be aware of the tools and weapons available to you. The tools of God’s wisdom and grace and the weapon of truth. Focus on the good and do not dwell on the evil. Steer clear of the darkness. Respond with love and live the truth. Accept responsibility when you fall but get back up and try again until you experience success. Bypass where you can but do not avoid the necessary challenges that prepare you for the next. Know your limits and seek assistance from Me and others, where needed. Do not be prideful. Pride leads to so much damage and multiplies the challenges. Humble yourself before Me and others. Everyone loves a humble heart, a loving heart. The path of obstacles can be overcome, and the reward is amazing. True joy is irreplaceable. There are no substitutes for the real thing. Do the work, travel the path, and experience the reward, the fruit of the Spirit which is joy. Joy can and will be yours.
Life is full of ups and downs; unpleasant situations we often can’t avoid… and temptations we can avoid but find it difficult to. None of us are exempt, but how we choose to navigate life’s difficulties matters. Luckily, God did not create us to navigate them alone. One of the tools He provides when we are facing challenges and temptations is other people. I would even argue that it is almost impossible to live life successfully in the absence of wise and loving community.
Take the life of king David for example. King David was appointed by God Himself. God blessed him and David grew in success and power but, one day, he was tempted. He saw the beautiful Bathsheba, the wife of another man, and he desired her. David gave into his temptation and slept with Bathsheba who became pregnant. David tried to cover his sin by quickly arranging a romantic evening for Bathsheba and her husband, Uriah, in hopes they would sleep together. When his plan failed, David orchestrated the killing of Uriah in battle and took Bathsheba as his own wife.
Although David loved God, he did not repent of his wrongdoing. So, God sent the prophet Nathan to reveal David’s sin through a story.
The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’
“This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”
Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” (2 Samuel 12:1-13a NIV)
On our own, our will is weak, and we are tempted to compromise when no one is watching. We need a support system that helps guard against the attacks of Satan where he knows we are weakest. We need others to help us remember the truth of God’s Word, and to hold us accountable to persevere in this truth, despite our temptations.
Because David’s sin was revealed to him, because he was held accountable, he genuinely repented. As a result, God forgave him. David still had to suffer the consequences of his sin, but God restored him. David was placed back on the straight path of pursuing the Lord with amazing commitment and worship.
I have heard it said that we become the four people we spend the most time with. Therefore, surrounding ourselves with a community of believers who are also aiming to follow God’s commands and become more like Jesus is crucial to our success. The more we compromise on our influences, the more we risk drifting from the very truths that have set us free. In Christian community, we are repetitively reminded what the straight path entails and what is expected of us as followers of Christ. With Christian accountability, we are lovingly reminded when we are not doing the right thing. Our brothers and sisters in Christ help us to see the things we are blind to. Light shines on the darkness and helps remove the darkness from our lives.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17 NIV)
In my personal experience, true Christian accountability has not been easy to attain with other believers. While many will agree it is important, that belief is often not translated into action. I believe pride and fear are the cause. Pride keeps us from experiencing true accountability because we don’t want to admit we need it. When we are prideful, or fearful, we either do not want others to see or we do not want them to highlight our challenges… especially if those challenges are sinful.
We need to break through the barriers of pride and fear to experience authentic community. Allowing pride and fear to have a hold on our lives leads to destruction. We should not be fooled. Pride and fear are weapons of the enemy. Satan wishes to destroy us by leading us to believe we have our problems under control, that we can face them on our own, or we simply do not have them. Independence stems from pride. It has been known to create barriers in friendships and destroy marriages. Pride often comes before a fall.
It takes humility to allow others to hold us accountable in doing the right things… to allow others to see our weakness or potential for failure. In fact, if I were to add a fifth key to success, it would be humility because of its direct impact on the other keys.
Humility doesn’t mean lack of self-respect. It’s realizing our proper place in relation to God and others. We recognize we are the created, not the Creator. We love ourselves but do not elevate ourselves above others because we know that ‘all’ are depraved and fall short of perfection. When we truly see who God is and what He has done for us… when we understand grace, we can’t help but be humbled. We acknowledge our need for forgiveness and healing and are willing to ask for it. This leads to wisdom and honor.
Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. (Proverbs 18:12 NIV)
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2 NIV)
Practicing accountability through humility simply allows others to lovingly tell us when we are veering off the straight path, and they allow us to do the same for them. Accountability gives others permission to ask us how we are doing in the areas we need to grow, so that we have that growth in the forefront of our mind. Accountability is a beautiful thing when done out of love, trust, and mutual respect. God created us for this. He commands us to both encourage and lovingly rebuke our fellow Christians with the goal of helping each other persevere in the faith.
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. (Proverbs 27:5 NIV)
See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:12-13 NIV)
As long as it is still “today”, we need to hold each other accountable to persevere. We may not be alive tomorrow. And it is incredibly easy, for Christians and non-Christians alike, to go astray in our hearts. This is because the world is an alluring and seductive place, full of deceitfulness. Sin is ugly in the dark and grows far uglier without accountability.
My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20 NIV)
Accountability is crucial… in our workplace, homes, hobbies, marriages, friendships, and every other area of our lives. There are no exceptions.
Joe and I work faithfully to hold each other accountable but we realize we need accountability outside our marriage as well. We are part of a small co-ed bible study group, and we each meet independently with same sex friends we can trust and share our struggles with. These things help us to keep the straight path in the forefront of our minds because we know we have weak flesh. Even when we are feeling strong, we are not exempt from temptation or the attacks of Satan. Even more so when we are feeling weak from exhaustion or disappointment.
I am also held accountable by this blog. As I am working to grow in specific areas of my life, I am reminded of my commitment to write about my struggles and failures. The more I lack in diligence to grow, the more I’ll have to write about it!
Bringing it all together:
I’ve talked about many things in this post series so a summary might be helpful. Let’s start with the definition of success. For a large number of people, success lies in many things temporary: being known and admired by others, physical beauty, achieving high career status, accumulating wealth, driving an expensive car, living in a large home, and/or the ability to afford fancy vacations, to name a few. You likely know by now that this is not the kind of success I am referring to. Think of it this way. If you could be king or queen for a day, knowing it would only last a day and then be followed by a miserable life thereafter, would you still choose to be king or queen for a day? Of course not! A day in the grand scheme of our entire physical lives is so very temporary…
… And so it is with life on earth compared to eternity.
Let’s consider the wisdom of king Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes. King Solomon was both the wisest and wealthiest king that ever lived. According to a Google search, king Solomon’s wealth in today’s money would have been $2.2 trillion, or at least many billions of dollars. King Solomon had the ability to ‘have it all’ and, at one point in his life, he did seek to experience everything under the sun:
I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the heavens… I said to myself, “Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly… I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives… I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well—the delights of a man’s heart. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun… (Ecclesiastes 1:12,13a,16,17a, 2:1a,3-11 NIV, underline added)
Then Solomon came to his final conclusion:
Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (Ecclesiastes: 12:13,14 NIV)
This doesn’t mean that obtaining a high-ranking job or driving a nice car will lead to a meaningless life. It simply means these things should not be our primary focus. In the wise words of king Solomon, to have true and lasting meaning in life, our primary focus should be the things of God… everything else (in the absence of God), leads to emptiness… chasing after the wind. I’ve heard this described as a God-shaped hole in our heart. Trying to fill this hole with anything other than God leads to the continuous and unending pursuit of ‘trying’ to fill it. We are chasing after the wind. The hole remains empty.
Earlier this year, I found a page I had torn from a calendar I owned several years ago. I kept this page because of the wisdom it imparts in a few short sentences.
To make the most of your time on earth, you must maintain an eternal perspective… Paul said, “We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV). So much of what we waste our energy on will not matter even a year from now, much less for eternity. Don’t trade your life for temporary things.
So now, let’s look at the true and lasting definition of success. It starts with salvation which is the foundation… a foundation based on the success of Christ (not our own). We realize we are sinful and in need of a Savior. We accept Jesus’ free gift of eternal life and place our trust in Him (as opposed to ourselves). Because of the accomplishment of Jesus, we get to experience true meaning, reward, and joy by focusing on four essential keys:
Through bible study during quiet time (Key #1), we gain a deeper understanding of who God is, His plan of salvation through Jesus Christ, and his commands for living. Study of the Bible teaches us a healthy fear of and reverence for God and activates His wisdom in our lives. We realize Jesus is the center of everything. We learn truth. We see our sinfulness more clearly. Personal biblical knowledge protects us from deceit and false teaching. We learn the guide to right and joyful living.
Through prayer (Key #2), we develop a relationship with God through two-way communication. We praise Him for who He is and all He stands for. We apologize when we stray from His Word. We thank Him for His love, guidance, provision, and protection. We ask Him for help in our time of need. We intercede for others. Prayer activates God’s power in our lives and in the lives of others. We gain insight, courage, and boldness. We receive more grace and wisdom.
Through obedience (Key #3), we show respect for God. We obey God’s ways. We listen to and follow His guidance. The more we obey, the more sensitive we become to the direction of the Holy Spirit. We redirect our lives. We love and serve others with sincere motives. We are formed into the person we were created to be. We live out our true-life purpose leading to peace and joy. We become more like Christ and point others to Him through word and example. Others who see and believe gain eternal life and God’s kingdom is glorified. God’s blessing is activated in our lives, both in this temporary world and eternity.
Accountability (Key #4) activates God’s people. We live in community with other believers. We remind each other of our Christian code of ethics and protect each other from straying. We reveal one another’s blindness to the truth. We encourage perseverance in the faith and resistance to the competing and false attraction of the world.
In all of this we devote ourselves to humility. Our bible study, the Word of God, reveals our sin. It takes humility to both see and repent of it. It takes humility to adore God above ourselves and to ask Him for His saving and sanctifying grace in our lives… to admit we can’t do it without Him. It takes a submissive and humble heart to be obedient. And it takes humility to allow others into our inner and private selves to hold us accountable.
I pray we strive for this true, freeing, and eternal success. It does not come with regret, only pure and lasting joy, and treasure in heaven with a God who loves us beyond our imagination.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33 ESV)